Everything I need to know, I learned from T.V.

After many many years of college, countless classes, listening to professors and somewhat reading the textbooks that cost a fortune, I realize now that I could have admitted that a quality education was taking place at the monthly low price of $49 from DirecTV. Yes, I am saying, and have said before, that everything I need to know about life, I've learned from T.V. While I'm sure this is provoking a giggle or two from those of you who know me, and a shock from some of my family members or those of you who don't know me, it is the truth and not meant as a joke.

Television's catch-22 personality has been a member of my life from as far back as I can remember. As a small child, I hid in the corner of the living room watching M.A.S.H with my brother and sisters when I should have been in bed. I discovered at an early age the the Army wasn't for me. Watching Murder She Wrote, despite my sisters plea's that I change the channel taught me how to solve a mystery when I'm in my 60's. Mom, if you're curious, let me know. Magnum P.I. was a favorite of my brothers, however, I'm not sure what learned from that, except that Tom Selleck made the mustache look about has hot as a mustache can look on anyone. And last, but definitely not least, of the childhood favorites is the Cosby show. Of course, watching Cosby helped me to solve all kinds of family problems. I learned that a child can never get away with a lie, because the parent always knows, that having a doctor for a father and a lawyer for a mother would only get me a brownstone in New York, but would also create a world of family courts and medical lessons, and that if my dad ate too many hogies, he would have funky dreams and think he was having a baby. (One of my favorite episodes)

So, as I grew into a teen-ager, the sick twist of life's lessons continued with an addiction to Wednesday nights and 90210. Yes, I even bought the soundtrack to the show and still have it in my c.d. case. Life in Beverly Hills could be mine vicariously through the lives of Kelley, Donna, Brenda, Andria, and I would learn that drugs, money, fashion, popularity and life on the beach in the summer wasn't everything it was cracked up to be, but I could still look good doing it if I had all that money. Fortunately for me, as a teen-ager I didn't realize all that I was really learning from these shows, it would have counteracted some of America's best viewing possibilities of the future.

I'm talking about Dawson's Creek, Alias, and of course, Buffy. Seriously, these three shows have been just what I needed to catapult me into adulthood.

Of course, Dawsons Creek is the show about dating. When in the confusion of whom to choose, it is always best to date each person that is madly in love with you several times through the years, stringing them along, breaking their hearts, and then somehow, reeling them back in for more until you finally decide. Now, I knew all along that Pacey was the one for Joey, or me, whomever he decided on, but Joey seemed to think she needed Dawson's hair to run her fingers through. Unfortunately, when he started looking like a girl, the attraction had to stop there. But as far as dating goes, I know in my life, when faced with any dating challenge, I turn to a good episode of Dawson's Creek before making my next move.


Now, of course, a lesson or two has been learned from watching Alias. There are so many times in my life that I have been faced by a secret faction of the government, claiming to be the CIA and wondering if I should join or not.
Of course, the answer is yes, because without this decision I would never meet that hunk of my life, Vaughn. Here's another t.v. star that just doesn't know what he's missing in his life. But back to the lessons learned. Should I go with the red wig, or the red leather jump suit.... wig. Do I sneak up behind the guy that is trying to kill me, or swing in from the chain overhead ... swinging, of course! And what should I do when I find out my best friend and roommate has been doubled ... (this has happened so many times I can't even count) ... well I have to kill her of course. Sad, I know. But when it's best for the government, it's best for me. When I found out that I was actually working for the wrong side, I watched season three of Alias and learned how to cope with this betrayal. Now that it's over, I'm not sure who I'll turn to for all my agent needs, but I'm sure NBC will not disappoint me. (A tribute to the show and the love of my life, Vaughn, will come later, so keep checking back.)


But over all, the one show that has taught me everything I need to know, and has been a blessing to others... especially those that have frequented a Sunday School class or two, is ...........BUFFY!


Not to be confused with the crappy movie made in the early 90's, no... this is Buffy the t.v. series. Sarah Michelle Gellar, you have taught us all so much about courage, friendship, loyalty, and fighting off every vampire that comes in your path, (unless they are hot of course). When ever faced with evil, Buffy looked inside herself and found the courage to fight. I am almost teary-eyed now just thinking about it. Because of my low income status, I'm unable to afford cable, and so I miss any possible re-run of Buffy, but the lessons linger in my mind as I try to make decisions facing the evil that lurks in this city of sin. Thank you Buffy, Thank you Alias, Thank you Dawson's creek. I could not have learned a thinkg without you.

As for the rest of you non-t.v. watchers, you don't know what you're missing, but you can find out by going to the DIRECTV website and checking out there programming prices. It's worth it, trust me!

Chao for now. - Jess